Three Six Five

"Other things may change us,

but we start and end with Family."

  I couldn't sleep. I was terrified. At this exact time last year, I was being woken up by the worst news I've ever heard- my Tia Sylvia had passed away. I was so frightened that if I fell asleep, I would once again wake up to horrible news. It could be anyone, the people we least expect as I learned last year. Instead of sleeping, I cried and cried and cried. I fell asleep eventually.

     A whole 365 days later and the pain of losing my Tia is still as raw as ever. That hole in my heart will never completely heal, but I've been doing my best to not let it get any bigger. I've been enjoying my senior year and I've been having fun. I've kept going because I know that is what she wanted for all of us. When I heard some family members had dreams about her, I was disappointed at first. Why didn't I ever have dreams about her? Then I realized that she did not need to visit me in my sleep because I had accepted all that had happened and there wasn't one day where I needed to be reminded of her because I never forgot. Like her, I'm a scorpio, and I could handle it :)

     So with that said, today I will not feel depressed, and I refuse to mope around. Instead, I will celebrate Sylvia's life and cherish the memories I have with her. I will be thankful that I spent 17 wonderful years with her. I'll think fondly of those texts she'd send me on my birthday that said, "Happy Birthday, my birthday buddy. I hope you have a great day!" And most importantly, I'll see her spirit live on in my heart and especially in my mother, her only sister, and her daughters, Michelle and Nichole. It's crazy how often I see flashes of my tia in each of you, and I know you three were able to make it through this first year because of the tremendous strength she left each of you. Her spirit and wisdom will truly live on forever.

“If you look deeply into the palm of your hand, you will see your parents and all generations of your ancestors. All of them are alive in this moment. Each is present in your body. You are the continuation of each of these people.”

-Thich Nhat Hanh